CRÈME DE LE SHOES: SHOES THAT INTIMIDATE THOSE WHO SUCK

by CRÈME DE LA CRM

PROENZA SCHOULER

C-O-O-L

So let’s just sit and eulogize a couple of (very) crucial things here. First and foremost,  the sweet (sweet) marriage of the prussian blue heel, the contrasting monochromatic checkered print and the bad ass black-as-night matte leather frame that frankly screams, ‘I could step on your face and put my cigarette out on your forehead – if I needed to’. I want to wear these. I want to feel the leather embrace my feet. I want to know that I could step on someone’s face and put my cigarette out on their forehead – if need be. But I don’t smoke and (let’s be honest) I don’t own these. This is that crème de la crème shit.

Accompanying my brief analysis, I have compiled a list of special people whom I believe should (and must) buy (and wear) these shoes. I don’t even know if it’s morally OK to categorize such visionary gems under such a characterless term as ‘shoes’,  but for the sake of flaunting what little French I know (or googled), I have to say one thing: Proenza Schouler’s pièce de résistance will likely forever be these shoes.

So I guess that’s what we’ll call them, and here’s who should wear ’em:

  • Bad-ass bitches (example: Rihanna)
  • Non-bad-ass bitches who aspire to someday be badass (example: Anne Hatheway)
  • Everyone (example: my Thai mother and her friends, lawyers, dentists, art historians, waitresses, cat-lovers, librarians etc.)